Makati High School, My Querencia

I feel so much better tonight. I have never felt this kind of euphoria in a decade or so...so light and unencumbered. I think I can actually get through the day, through the rest of the week or even through the last days of my retirement. I am in a learning environment where mediocrity has no place. I am filled with astounding sense of peace and I couldn't ask for more.  I wish it could be like this every day. 

            I have been in the academe for almost 34 years, 17 years in a number of private schools, 16 years in Gen. Pio del Pilar National High School, a former private school named Pio del Pilar Educational Institution, my alma mater and almost one year at Makati High School. All these years of my professional teaching career, I wanted to believe that I have always given my best shot. I know that I still have so much to offer. I cannot stop. I won’t stop.

            When Jovito Salonga sold his school to the city government in 1999, a little part of me died. However, the old Pio building still accommodated the same group of students, some… children of my batch mates. It was down memory lane when I first stepped on the same floor. It gave me goosebumps as my first classroom was the same room I occupied when I was in fourth year. Tons of stored memories cascaded through my spine and I wanted to speed up my journey then. I remember Ms Melliza, my English teacher…big-boned with chinky eyes. She would give me a grin every time I would be the first one to submit my composition writing. The halls of the room gave me chills as I dwelt upon beautiful recollection of high school life.

            Indeed, I must say I had had a fulfilling career for the last 34 years until this obnoxious feeling haunted me. Something at some point, was wrong. And if I really would take the time to dig into the real reasons for leaving--- and I should---I will have to say it’s not the “school” that is to be blamed. It’s not the location, or the database or the classrooms or even the students…no matter how rowdy they could be.

            Pauperized management. Such a tormenting and agonizing moment to be in an awkward situation where a few uninspired, amateurish ‘front liners’ were gilt bronze. I am now pushed to the wall to escape that fear of not being good no matter how I wanted to be. They may not accept that condemnation. I may talk about “morale,” when I say, “communication is poor,” when I express frustration at the lack of clarity for someone else’s career progression--- I must say I hopped to another hive simply because I wanted to leave this kind of humdrum dominion and finally work in an environment where excellence is the standard. In the back of my mind, I was asking myself, “Could this be happening?” How I wish to have excellent torchbearers being responsible for the morale, communication and career path of their academic scholars. How I wish these called leaders to have an attitude of moving forward. How I wish!

            A school is just a legal and moral “entity”. A “business” is a collection of desks and computers. No one leaves because of that. It’s the determination, the drive, the ambiance, the ethos, the support, the training, the vision, and the direction set by the leadership I expected, to no avail. These are surprisingly plain and baseline essentials for all managers and leaders, yet prejudices and biases prevailed.

            I am indeed fortunate for I have found my niche. It was more than a decade when Mam Monserate encouraged me to join Makati High School. I was just a contractual teacher then and I told her I couldn’t leave my alma mater. I was still happy then. However, a twist of fate suddenly emerged. It was like a hurricane that was slowly killing me. I can never, never, never work with people who do not have the passion to translate their work into action and neither will I tolerate “Kahit ano na lang” leadership. I won’t be content with mediocrity. Mediocrity scares me to death. It’s the fear of not being as good as I want to be. If I give over to that fear, it will sabotage me. As much as I can, I try to use that fear to guide me.

            However, I am not anymore suffocated in mediocrity. Getting the things done in my life that I like to do and love to do, and making that work for me? Priceless! It's kinda like finding the door to life that my key can open. I can never be happier to where I belong. I have found my pigeonhole…a place where mentors strive and excel not only for the betterment of the students but also for the institution which has made a mark in the history of education. It’s such a bliss! Yes, I am all yours. Makati High School, my Querencia.